First of all, let me congratulate The Broadway on a super successful Beyonce Brunch. Kudos to you!  And now, with the success of that Beyonce Brunch and the Vanderpump Rules premiere parties that popped up a couple of months ago, I humbly ask our local bars and restaurants, can ya do more fun stuff that isn’t just male sports focused?

If you own or work at a local establishment and are thinking, “Heather, we would love to have more themed events, but we don’t even know where to start,” it’s your lucky day – I minored in Theme Events at the Real Housewives Institute of Reality Television Arts and Sciences (copyright Dame Brian Moylan)!  So sit back, relax, and read up on a few sure-to-be boffo theme ideas…

Bravo, Bravo, F*cking Bravo

As a graduate of the Real Housewives Institute, I’m not NOT going to suggest a Bravo theme.  Play fan-favorite episodes of Bravos shows, and have a Bravo-lebrity-heavy playlist (Lala Kent “singing”  “savings” over and over again).  Serve goat cheeseballs and Scheana’s enchiladas.  Pumptinis, Skinny Girl margs, a water tasting for the designated drivers, and just a coffee cup full of whiskey for the Dr. Heavenly fans.  Have your DJ sit on a package of paper towels a la DJ James Kennedy at Tom/Tom!  I can almost guarantee a Bravo-themed event will shatter all your previous liquor sales records.

Mrs. Roper/Three’s Company

Come and knock on our door!  Mrs. Roper themed events and pub crawls have gained a ton of popularity over the past few years and as a caftan enthusiast I wholeheartedly approve.  Why not turn your establishment into the Regal Beagle for a day?  Just think; it’s a beautiful sunny day, the windows are all open, yacht rock is wafting through the air, your bartenders are mixing up Harvey Wallbangers and Fuzzy Navels.  Life is good.

Beyonce

A couple paragraphs ago did I say I JUST went to a Beyonce Brunch?  Yup, what of it?  If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

The Sopranos

Caught In Southie HBIC Maureen and I have talked about doing a Sopranos Brunch for years!   With the 25th anniversary of the show and the mob wife look trending, there’s never been a better time to gather the family and mangia.  Dibs on dressing up like Tony’s goomah who set herself on fire cooking him eggs!  GABAGOOL!

Summer Solstice

This one is for my fellow woo-woo girlies!  And trust me, you WANT woo-woo girlies at your event, have you seen what they spend on crystals, candles, and plants?  No one spends their hard-earned cash like someone grasping at spiritual straws!  Celebrate the start of the astrological summer and the longest day of the year with a little solstice bash.  Tarot card readers, spell jar making, intention setting, a little kitchen witchery, maybe even a crystal or plant pop-up if you’re feeling it.  I honestly think this could be a really fun and aesthetically pleasing event in the right hands!

Golden Girls

Like I’m not going to suggest a theme based on the greatest sitcom of all time?  Transform your joint into The Rusty Anchor or Blanche’s kitchen.  Play classic episodes like Goodbye Mr. Gordon, A Little Romance, and Mr. George Devereaux.  Make Taylor Swift-esque friendship bracelets with classic Golden Girls quotes like “Shady Pines, Ma”, “quiet you trash”, and “her mother was a slut too”.  Serve cheesecake!  Also, I have the (official?) Golden Girls cookbook you can borrow to decide your menu.  Thank you for being a friend indeed.

And these are just the tip of the iceberg…oooohhh Titanic theme; we all wear our pajamas and hang out in a few inches of cold water.  Much like the love in Love Actually, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find themes actually are all around.  As are those of us ready to whoop it up at said themes, so let’s do some more of them, ok?

After writing this piece it came to the author’s attention that The Broadway is hosting a Taylor Swift themed brunch in May.  Though she does not identify as a Swifty, the author will dress up and stuff her face for the cause.

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