A simple guide to office appropriate attire
If you’ve read any of my more recent blogs, you probably know I love summer. The beach, the cocktails, the clothes, it’s my favorite time of year. Perhaps what I love most is the clothes. I wish I could wear shorts, rompers and maxi dresses all year long. Well, I can’t because rompers aren’t seasonally appropriate in January. Speaking of appropriate (how do you like that segway), why do so many women lose all sense of office wardrobe appropriateness once the mercury rises? For some reason the term “business casual” loses its meaning after Memorial Day. For the record, I’m far from a clothing prude (just ask my mother – she’ll be the first to tell you my hemlines boarder on the edge of good taste) but when it comes to the office there are rules people!!!
I know not every outfit is going to be a homerun. I myself have many times decided by lunch that I hate what I’m wearing, but I guarantee you – no one has ever mistaken me for a lost day shift stripper (Monday through Friday at least, on the weekend it’s a totally different story.) So I’ve decided to put together a little list to help you dress work appropriate. Feel free to send it along to that chick in your office who dresses like Kelly Bundy on vacation.
Don’t shop in the juniors department
If you’re old enough to vote, wearing juniors clothes to work should be an offense punishable by death, and this is coming from a chick addicted to rompers. Remember what you looked like as a teenager? Well you don’t look like that anymore and you can’t pull off that cheap ass dress, so put it down and walk away.
Leave the beach cover up for the beach
You wouldn’t wear a wetsuit to a wedding or throw a on cocktail dress to grab some milk (well I might wear a cocktail dress to the grocery store), so why the hell would you wear a beach cover-up to work? I don’t care how laid back the vibe is at your office, you look ridiculous.
Wear the right undergarments
Light colored pants or skirts call for nude underwear, it’s non-negotiable. Obviously (good lord I hope obviously) you can’t go dark. It will look like you threw your pants on over bikini bottoms. We can see white undies under your pants too and if you go commando we can see your personal grooming habits.
Don’t forget your toes
I love open toe shoes, I wear them to work all summer long. If you love them and want to wear them, please, please, please throw some polish on your toes and lotion on your ashy heels. You can get new nail polish and cracked heel cream at Rite Aid for under $10. Treat yourself, you’re worth it.
Bra straps, bra straps, bra straps!! Exposed bra straps are not okay at the office. I know every once in a while a strap might peak out, it happens. But you know what doesn’t have to happen? A black bra or hot pink bra strap hanging out at the office. You’re not Carrie Bradshaw, so settle down.
We all have cheap rubber flip flops, I personally probably have 4 pairs in my car right now, but I hate seeing someone at the office schlep across the room in a pair. They bug me okay? And there’s nothing worse than the flip flop frayed pant hem combo, DON’T GET ME STARTED!!!! But just to show I’m not totally rigid, I will (very begrudgingly) give you flip flops on casual Friday, and frankly it kills me, so I hope you appreciate it.
In addition to the above mentioned summer no-nos, year round at the office I hate visible panty lines, short sleeves over long sleeves, leggings as pants, or anything with an elastic waist for that matter. I know I’m no Stacey London, but I think I’ve laid some pretty solid ground rules for what work appropriate, now if you’ll excuse me, my shift is ending so I need to change into my booty shorts and tube top, peace out!
Heather has been writing for Caught In Southie since pretty much the beginning and for that we apologize. She can often be found on her couch with a log of raw cookie dough. Her biggest fear is being on an episode of Dateline and her wildest dream is being a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Feel free to let her know if there’s something you think she should write about, unless it’s stupid.
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