Written by Heather Foley
The interweb is predicting this year’s Black Friday is going to be huge – much bigger than last year’s disappointing performance. If you watch enough TV, all of the commercials about huge deals might actually tempt you to set your alarm and brave the insanity. If you’re feeling lucky and are crazy enough to head out at 3am, I figured the least I can do is arm you with some advice. So here are my tips:
Seriously, stay home. Is all of this nonsense really worth $200 off a TV from a manufacturer you’ve never even heard of? According to a little Facebook birdy people started lining up at the Braintree Best Buy on Tuesday. Unless it’s an off-shoot of Occupy Boston those knuckleheads are there for Black Friday and will get all the door busters. So basically you’ve already lost and should just sleep in and watch QVC.
Dress the part.
In less than 24 hours you’ll have eaten a ginormous meal and then fight a bunch of bingo arms over a kindle fire, so be prepared. You need an outfit you can kick and stretch in. You’re also going to sweat your balls off, so you should probably dress in layers or maybe even some dry weave technology.
Pack a lunch.
If you’re thinking you’re getting in and getting out of anywhere quickly on Friday, you’re dumber than you look. You will be gone for hours – maybe even days – so eat a healthy breakfast and pack plenty of snacks, protein and good carbs because you’re going to need some serious stamina to knock down old ladies all day.
Develop a thick skin.
It’s not personal, it’s shopping. Shopping on Black Friday is survival of the fittest. Odds are you’re going to get hit, pushed, knocked down, stomped on and yelled at. If you can’t handle it, I suggest you stay home and wait for cyber Monday. And you may want to bring a rape whistle, I don’t actually think you’ll get raped, but at least you’ll have it to blow if things get a little too intense.
Okay and here are some real tips I found on the world wide web. Don’t buy toys, top brand TVs, watches, jewelry, and 2014 calendars. Buy tools, small appliances, electronics and video game console bundles. Oh, and apparently because of those crazy blue laws some retail stores in MA can’t open at midnight or earlier on Thanksgiving, so check the store’s website before you head out on Thanksgiving night. I think that’s it, and if you see an X-box 306 on sale please grab one for me – I’m good for it.