Written by Heather Foley
Thanksgiving is the time of year we Americans take a day to give thanks for our many, many blessings. Which basically means we have to listen to all the boring crap people are grateful for. Family, friends, health, love, blah, blah, blah, so cliche, right? So I’m not going to bore you with the usual sentimental nonsense. I’m going to let you know what I’m really and truly grateful for, just like Christopher Columbus was grateful Pocahontas brought corn (or maze as the Native Americans called it) to the very first thanksgiving.
First and foremost, I’m thankful I’m so darn cute. I couldn’t imagine not being cute, it would make me sad. I guess if I’m thankful for being cute, I’m technically thankful for my family, oh well.
I’m thankful for Philosophy flavored lip-gloss. This one makes it on the list every year. They make amazing lip-glosses in flavors like caramel apple, crème brulee, pineapple coconut, melon colada, and cinnamon bun. I try to always have at least one in my bag at all times, and no I don’t have the animal cracker flavor if anyone wants to buy it for me.
I’m thankful for ‘Game of Thrones’, both the HBO and book series. This just in – I’m a big nerd, and ‘Game of Thrones’ is like catnip for nerds. In 2011, I have spent numerous incredibly enjoyable hours watching and reading ‘Game of Thrones’ and it’s introduced me to my two new boyfriends Jon Snow (the character), and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Jason Momoa (the actors who play Jaime Lannister and Khal Drogo). Oh, and when I get a dog I’m either naming her Daenerys or Calisi if it’s a girl. Drogo, if it’s a boy.
I’m thankful for high heels. High heels make you taller and your legs look leaner, so what not to be thankful for? Don’t believe me, put on one high heel and look at your leg in the mirror, now look at the other leg, where did your calf muscle go? Thank you high heels.
I’m thankful for eBay. I love eBay and on any given day I’m probably wearing at least one piece of clothing or an accessory that I bought on eBay. I think it’s the bidding. It gets my adrenaline pumping, maybe it brings out the cavewoman huntress in me, or maybe I just really like the sick deals.
I’m thankful for DVR. What the hell did I do before DVR? I missed out on so much and I was afraid to commit to show because sometimes all you have to do is miss one episode and you’re screwed. Can you imagine trying to follow along if you missed an episode of ‘Boardwalk Empire’ or ‘American Horror Story’? Neither can I. And what I would I do all weekend if I didn’t have a full DVR to plow through?
Last but not least I’m thankful for you my fans, all 14 of you! I’m always genuinely surprised and touched when someone tells me they enjoy something I’ve written. So feel free to stop me anywhere and everywhere if you want to tell me you love me! However, if you don’t like something I’ve written please keep walking, I can’t handle your criticism.
So Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and maybe tomorrow around the family table you’ll follow my lead and let everyone know what you’re really giving thanks for this year – even if it’s shallow, silly or downright offensive.