Real Housewives of S. Boston

Over the past 24 hours I’ve had roughly 1 million (I always round up) people send me the ‘Real Housewives of South Boston’ youtube video looking for a reaction, and I can sum up my feelings in one word, meh.  Maybe my hopes were too high, maybe its hard to laugh at yourself (or at least a percieved version of how those darn outsiders might see us), or maybe it just wasn’t that great.  Ok I admit, the character of Jackie was pretty hilarious and to be honest I think she can do better than the crew she’s hanging with, but other than her, pretty lame.  But I think there’s real potential is here, we are a funny, funny people, it just needs a true daughter of Southie to bring it out.  So here’s my ideas to make the second clip a little more Southie serious.

First of all there is no Route 34 in Massachusetts (I binged it), so why the heck did you pick Route 34 for Jackie’s packie?  Clearly someone didn’t do their research.  If you just picked a number or a letter street and you would have been fine, get with the program.

Was anyone else bothered by the very thought of a true Southie chick dropping a Manny (or any Sox player for that matter) homerun?  Come on, we all know a real Southie broad would have caught the ball with one hand and high fived whoever was next to her with the other, and she would have snuck into the locker room or players garage to get it autographed.

Ok, that POS television the ladies were watching the game on?  Would you ever go over a friends house to watch anything on a tv that size?  Gurl please!  They should have used a nice flat screen, they could have even made a reference to it falling off a truck or buying it a bar, missed oppurtunity.

How can you do a Southie parody video without using the phrases ‘no sah’, ‘just sayin’, or ‘arh you retahded’  No shelltoes?  No scally caps?  I also don’t think I saw any claddagh or giant initial rings?  Maybe there could have been a sweet Irish knit/nylon pants combo thrown in somewhere?  

I have no idea where the people who made this video are from, but have they not heard the news Southie is gentrified now?  We have specialty food stores and doggie boutiques, we have farm to plate dining and art gallaries, there is so much more to us than dropped Rs and questionable life skills.  And just think of the foil a yuppie would have been for the group, next time invite the new neighbor over.

Maybe my biggest issue is that everyone is drinking cans of beer straight out of the can, not a red solo cup in sight, WTF?  Southie peeps both old and new, have you ever been to get together and not seen at least one red solo cup?  Especially if you’re boozing outside!  And how the heck are you going to play flip cup with no red solo cups?  Come one now!

So I don’t want to sound like Debbie Downer (or as my mother says Betty Bummer), I don’t want to crap all over the video, so I will give a little praise.  I loved the old school plastic beach cheers, you probably should have made a joke about using them as spot savers, just sayin’.