Dear Stacey and Clinton,?
?Hey guys! First let me say congratulations on your ninth season! Now don’t mind me but I’m going to gush for a minute, I love, love, love you guys! I’m seriously a HUGE fan. Huge, like a ridiculously big fan. Sometimes I see a piece of clothing and think ‘Stacey would love that’, or ‘that looks like a Clinton Kelly argyle’. And if I could steal anyone in the worlds wardrobe I would absolutely pick Stacey London (first runner up is Lily from ‘How I Met Your Mother’).
I love ‘Stacey’s Closet’ on the TLC website, I look to it for inspiration all the time. You know how dopey guys yell at the TV when they watch sports? Well that’s what I do when I watch WNTW. And sometimes I swear I yell out the same things you guys do at the same time! Twinsies, except there’s three of us.? ?I have a series recording set up to DVR not just new episodes but every episode, about 6 episodes a week.
I’m an expert
So I guess I consider myself an expert on your show, I even have a favorite, Anne, and least favorite, Alexandra, makeover (can we all agree that Alexandra, the red cross worker from Colorado had probably the worst attitude ever?), and favorite quotes, like ‘you look like a teenage girl with a glandular problem’. And when you watch multiple episodes back to back you really get a sense of how frustrating your job can get, dealing with all those wackos must really take its toll. Well I have a proposition for you, give me a makeover!
Now stay with me on this, how nice would it be to give a makeover to someone who is actually excited about it? I promise I’ll let you throw out whatever you want without putting up a fight, crying or making some lame excuses. I promise to never say something is comfortable or that things match (because anyone who watches WNTW knows things don’t need to match, they need to go). Overall I just promise to be a really good sport, and totally appreciative. I promise I’ll listen to you, shop by the rules, and treat the experience like the amazing opportunity it really is. And be honest, do you really think these slobs keep wear the beautiful clothes you pick out for them? And I promise I will, sexy secretary is my favorite look too!?
In need of a tailor
?Now I know what everyone reading this is thinking, ‘but Heather, you don’t need a makeover, you always look amazing’, and to this say I say, ‘I know, right? And thanks’. But nobody’s perfect, I have a few style bad habits Stacey and Clinton can beat out of me. For instance, I hold on to clothes that don’t really fit well with the excuse of taking them to the tailor but I never do, and honestly I don’t know what’s even worth tailoring. And my weekend daytime wardrobe can be way too casual (exhibit A is the outfit I’m wearing now, terry cloth shorts and a tank).?
Hair and make-up
?Ted and Carmindy I haven’t forgotten about you! Be honest Ted, it must kill you to put so much thought and effort into haircuts and colors for these women who we all know won’t even bother to keep up with their highlights. I firmly believe a woman’s hair is her crowning glory, and I treat mine a such. I would kill to have you do my hair. Seriously, is there someone you want dead? Just let me know. And I won’t be one of those crybabies who won’t let you do whatever you want. My hair has been every length and color, so go nuts. But just a heads up, I have cowlicks at my left and right temples. And Carmindy, I am a makeup junkie. I’m not one of those broads who’ll tell you she doesn’t have time for makeup or can’t be bothered with it, they don’t know what they’re missing. I’m all about your five minute face but what I really need help with is a smokey eye, I need you girl!? ?So I’m not sure how many makeovers you have left this season, but I think I should be one of them. It will be a nice change of pace for you guys and I promise we’ll have a blast.
Oh and if you want do another $100,000 makeover in Paris I’m totally cool with it (see, told you I was a big fan).? ?
See you all soon,?