Last minute sexiness

for Halloween

written by Heather Foley

Have you heard about Stella Ehrhart?  She’s the super cool eight year old who goes to school every day dressed a different historical female figure.  Homegirl has been everyone from Laura Ingalls Wilder to Billie Holiday (as well as a bunch ladies whose names don’t ring a bell).  I don’t know about you, but I find this little firecracker inspiring, so inspiring that I’m following her lead and giving you a bunch of historical options for this year’s sexy costume list.  Yay learning!

Sexy Rosie the Riveter.  If you left your costume till the last minute and Sandy eff-ed up your plans this costume is perfect for you!  Grab your Daisy Dukes and cut another inch or two make them super sexy.  Now throw on a chambray shirt, tie your hair up with a red bandana or scarf and bam you’re done!

Sexy Che Guevara.  Olive green camp shirt long enough to go sans pants, fishnets, black boots and beret, voila, you’re Che Guevara – the Argentine Marxist revolutionary.  If you feel like being uber-committed you can pencil in some facial hair, or let your own grow in, whatevs.

Sexy Abraham Lincoln.  Honest Abe might be one of our most recognizable presidents, so why not sexify him?  Black blazer, white button down, bow tie, black booty shorts (or heck even undies) and fake beard, easy.  And if you’re going to be hanging with a group of Wayne’s World fans you can tell them you’re Babe-raham Lincoln.

Sexy Joan of Arc.  This one’s for all my shorthaired sisters!  Just throw on lingerie or a bikini, add some kiddy size knight gear such as a armor, shield, sword, etc., and you’re the hottest Saint on the block!  Well, unless someone dresses up as St. Lucy, word on the street is she was quite the stunner in her day.

Sexy Gloria Steinem.  Remember when Ms. Steinem went undercover as a Playboy bunny?  I do!  Take your bunny costume out of storage (I know you have one), part your hair down the middle, and throw on some oversized aviators.  Feminism is damn sexy, just make sure you remind all potential suitors that you are no man’s property by wagging your bunny tail as you walk away.  I’m kind of bummed I shared this one, should have kept it for myself.  When will I learn?

Sexy Puritan.  Halloween means Thanksgiving is almost here, and the beauty of this costume is that you can bust it out again in three weeks and wear it to Grandma’s for Thanksgiving dinner.  First, hunt through your closet for your sexiest black garb.  Backless dress, sheer shirt, leather shorts or skinnies, super short mini skirt or be a total bad ass and throw on your favorite black bra and panties set – if anyone calls you a skank they’re simply a jealous H8TR (although you do look kinda skanky).  Add a bonnet and a white collar (if you feel like it), grab a gourd or cornucopia, your fake Mayflower Compact and you be done!

Well I hope this helped you throw together a last minute sexy costume, and if it didn’t well too bad, you shouldn’t have waited until the day before Halloween suckah.

Wondering what to wear to work for Halloween?  Heather has some suggestions: https://caughtinsouthie.com/feature/costumes-work