There were protest scheduled at NFL headquarters on February 16th and I for one am very happy about it. I mean it’s about time we raise our voices to the corrupt, ant-American values organization who…wait, what’s that you say? People aren’t protesting the NFL? They’re protesting Beyoncé? As in Beyoncé Knowles? For what? Her halftime show was anti-white and anti-police? The same halftime show I watched? LOL, no it wasn’t.
Ok let’s get right to it. Everyone who is spitting nails over Beyoncé’s halftime show needs to take a much-needed seat. I have watched both the Formation video and the halftime show multiple times trying to figure out why some of you all are so upset and I’m still at a loss. Maybe you hate Red Lobster or hot sauce? Maybe you hate black people, women, and/or especially black women? Maybe you hate Givenchy? I don’t know and I don’t have the time or energy to get into your issues, I don’t even have time or energy to get into my issues, just ask my therapist. That being said, is Beyoncé above criticism? No, of course not. Beyoncé’s performance, like any performance or work of art, is worthy of intelligent, well-thought out criticism. The problem is I’m not seeing intelligent, well-thought out criticism. Personally I think it’s such a ridiculous thing to be worked up about that I’m not even going to address it any further. Case closed and in the words of Andy Cohen if you’re going to be mad at any Super Bowl halftime act it should be The Black Eyed Peas because they sucked. But keep posting racist, misogynistic, and homophobic articles about it on social media so I know who to unfollow.
Moving on, there absolutely should be protests at the NFL headquarters, because the NFL is a shitty, shitty organization. Like the NFL is so shitty I don’t even know where to start, but let’s start with the cheerleaders, shall we? Did you know when many NFL cheerleaders add up all their hours worked (not just games mind you, but cheerleader camps, promotional appearances, practices, etc) they don’t even make minimum wage? Did you know most of them don’t have health insurance through the NFL even though they’re out there kicking and stretching in nude pantyhose in the rain, snow, and frigid temperatures? And then there’s the money cheerleaders have to spend out of pocket to look as amazing as they do. Ladies my hat is off to all of you and I hope someday very soon you’re paid what you’re worth. And the cheerleaders aren’t the only people on the field getting screwed. Practice squad guys have a very short shelf-life, don’t make a ton of money, get the pudding beat out of the everyday, and then years after retirement are often hit with crippling medical costs stemming from the poundings their bodies (and brains) received day in and day out, and the NFL is like “not it.” Oh and have you heard of the movie Concussion?
Up next, let’s talk about everyone’s favorite topic, taxes. The NFL is officially a tax exempt, non-profit organization. Yes a professional sports league that makes BILLIONS is listed as a tax exempt non-profit. As a matter of fact, the only reason the New Orleans Saints exist as a team is because back in 1966 Louisiana Senator and Chairman of the Finance Committee Russell Long insisted on the next expansion team going to New Orleans to pass the AFL/NFL merger (and thereby avoid antitrust sanctions) and ensure a tax exempt status. The breaks don’t end there. Teams get billions (yes billions with a B) in tax payer dollars to build stadiums, they get discounts on tax payer funded services such as utilities and police details, and big breaks on property taxes. You and I get no such tax breaks.
Last but not least let’s talk about what I think are some of the grossest antics of the NFL, good deed fakery. I don’t have the space to write about what a scam the NFL’s cancer shenanigans are in full. As you have probably noticed, during the month of October every NFL game looks like some dropped a Pepto Bismol bomb. Pink gloves, pink cleats, pink towels, giant ass pink ribbons on the field! The NFL claims to be raising awareness, but do you know anyone who wasn’t aware of breast cancer until they turned on a football game in October? Neither do I. (Pro tip, be leery of any charity whose big claim is awareness) Right now you might be saying, “but Heather, they are raising money for breast cancer from merchandise sales and that’s a good thing” and to that I would say “wake up, Pollyanna!” Only 5% off the proceeds of their specific pink branded merch is donated, merchandise that probably won’t even be bought in the first place if the good-hearted person shopping didn’t think they were supporting a good cause. And let’s not forget this past season Pittsburg Steelers running back DeAngelo Williams was fined for having the phrase “find the cure” and a pink ribbon in his eye black, cornerback William Gay was fined for wearing purple cleats for domestic violence awareness, and defensive end Cameron Heyward was fined for wearing eye black with a message honoring his deceased father. Nice job, NFL.
Are you thinking “well at least the NFL honor the troops?” Have you not been paying attention? The NFL only “supports” our troops because THEY ARE PAID TO. The Department Of Defense pays professional sports leagues millions to stage those feel good moments like parents coming home, new troops being sworn in/troops reenlisting, on-field color guard presentations, and those giant flag unrolls, remember that next time one pops up in your Facebook feed. But good news! NASCAR actually took more DOD funds, so nice job on not being the worst in this particular situation, NFL.
As Patriots fans we know firsthand how corrupt, uneven, and god damn slimy the NFL can be. We know Roger Goodell, who makes about $44 million a year, is the absolute worst, so it’s not hard to believe he runs a disgraceful organization. There’s no shortage of things we should be upset about, no shortage of turpitude, no shortage of reasons to protest the NFL, but Beyoncé is not one of them. If there’s any reason to protest Bey it’s because she didn’t play XO at Gillette during her last tour. Save your outrage for the stuff that deserves it.
UPDATE: ONLY 2 PEOPLE SHOWED UP FOR THE PROTEST ON 2/16