written by Heather Foley
This past week, we marked a very somber event – the eleventh anniversary of 9/11. Many networks showed various specials throughout the day, and all the major networks covered the moment of silence at 8:46am, well all except for NBC. NBC decided instead, to keep going forward with their interview with “mom-ager” extraordinaire Kris Jenner about such pressing issues as her fake boobs. I can’t even pretend to be surprised with KJ; she’s gross and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, but cheese and rice, NBC you should know better! It would be one thing to skip the moment of silence coverage for legitimate breaking news, or really news at all, but the freaking Kardashian’s? For real? How are these people on TV? Okay, I know how – Kim released a sex tape; mom pimped her out; reality stardom ensued, but what I mean is, why do we as a people allow them to be everywhere? The Kardashian machine feeds on public interest. We watch them (well, personally I don’t, I have a line and it’s right before this clan) so they thrive, as soon as we start ignoring them they will go away (see Kate Gosselin). So let’s make a pact, we won’t waste any energy on the Kardashian’s, and while we’re at it, here’s a few more people ripe for ignoring:
Chris Brown. So this chump who is infamous for laying the smack down on then boo Rihanna thinks it’s a good idea to get a tattoo on his neck that looks like a battered woman’s face. But it’s totally not, you guys! It’s cool because it’s not a tat of Rihanna post fisticuffs, it’s a sugar skull (whatever the eff that is) and a MAC cosmetics design. Wait what? Do straight guys even know what MAC is? I thought the only guys who knew about MAC where the fellas that work there and try to convince me that alien chic is a look. Anyhoo, can we just pretend Chris Brown doesn’t exist?
Jennifer Hudson. Anyone who knows me knows I can’t stand this bird. I seriously can’t even look at her, how about you? I’m psyched Jessica Simpson is taking over as Weight Watchers spokeslady for the sole reason I’ll be seeing less J Hud. I’m not even a Jessica Simpson fan, at all; she’s just the lesser of two evils at this point. Listen Jennifer, you lost some weight and that’s super, but you’re engaged to Punk from VH1’s “I Love New York” and you totally ruined the “Sex and the City” movie, well the first one, they ruined the second all on their own.
Taylor Swift. Homegirl has irked me since day one, and now it’s seem like a lot of you are getting with the program. She bugs the holy hell out of me for the same reason Jessica Simpson used to, pretty, rich, super successful but gloms onto every guy she’s dating and at least from the public view seems to lose herself completely. Have you seen Swift’s makeover since she started dating a Kennedy? Get it together! You dressed fine before; you don’t need to go all Mad Men because your new BF is descendant of Camelot! Oh, and I so don’t buy her whole “Aw shucks, you guys really like me” routine. Girl, please.
Anyone who says, “Sunday funday.” I don’t know if there is a phrase in existence that annoys me more than “Sunday funday. ” Ugh, it makes me gag. It just reeks of trying too hard. Besides Sunday funday is so 5 years ago, all the cool kids say Saturday Fatter-day now.
Heather Foley. That chick is terrible, and her wrists aren’t even that skinny.