4.2 min readBy Published On: December 15th, 2011Categories: Features0 Comments

I love Christmas!  

 

Written by Heather Foley

 

I love the whole Christmas season – Christmas carols, Christmas movies, shopping for Christmas presents, Christmas decorations, and Christmas cookies.  In my book, they’re all good.  And right around this time every year I declare that this is going to be the best Christmas ever and I’m going to catch every movie and Christmas special (yes, I know we have DVR and DVDs now but it’s not the same as catching it on TV), make some kick ass Christmas crafts, bake the world’s most amazing Christmas cookies, and have all my shopping done two weeks before Christmas.  What usually happens?  I order ‘Love Actually’ on demand and cry while I eat raw cookie dough. (I just want someone to tell me I’m perfect! Don’t you dare judge me!)  So how is this year going to be different?  Well, for starters, I’m going to bake the cookies before I cry this year, God damn it! And that’s not all, this year really is going to be the best Christmas ever!  

Why, you ask? Because this year I have a plan.  Not just a plan, I have a to-do list, so suck on that.

First and foremost, TV makes me happy, and Christmas crap on TV makes me super happy.  I stayed in and watched ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ last Saturday night, and I’ve already checked to see when all my favorite Christmas movies are on TV.  With this one step alone, I am already leaps and bounds ahead of where I was every other year.  Last year, I almost had a stroke when I realized I missed ‘A Muppet Christmas Carol’.  No, bueno.

Who loves pinterest?  I do, I do!  And thanks to my new favorite website I have all sorts of new Christmas crafts to make me crazy.  I think the key with crafting is to know your limits, and my limits are pretty well set.  I can glue, that’s about it.  No knitting, no crocheting, no stenciling, no wood working, no scrap booking, no sewing.  If it involves more than a glue gun, it’s probably beyond me.   But luckily for me, there are plenty of crafts that only require an eye for fabulousness and some hot glue.

So this probably comes to a big shock to no one, but I’m not really a great cook.  I don’t know how to use a mixer.  I’ve never turned on the broiler in my oven, and seriously, what the hell is a double boiler?  So the odds of me unwinding some Sunday by making a batch of cookies from the food networks 12 Days of Cookies are slim to none.  Baking is a pain in the hole.  There’s so much measuring, and if anything is off you’re whole recipe is effed.  So what can I make that’s still Christmassy and doesn’t require measuring spoons?  Bark!  Bark is basically melted chocolate and you just throw in whatever else you want, pretzels, nuts, candy, fruit – the possibilities are endless.  I’ve never made bark before, but I’m assuming it’s super easy and will probably take me about 15 minutes.  I will probably make the most fantastic bark ever, because that’s just how awesome I am.  Oh, and I can totally give my world famous homemade bark as gifts, so here’s to crossing something else off my list.

And speaking of gifts, guess who already started their Christmas shopping?  That would be me, turkeys.  I’m not done by any stretch, but I have a whole day blocked off to do my shopping, and if I don’t get your gift that day you’re getting booze or scratch tickets, or nothing.  I’ve already got the big gifts crossed off my lists, this has never happened before.  I’m usually scurrying around the day before Christmas Eve trying to find over half of my gifts, not even sure of what I’ve already bought.  Well, not this year suckas!  I’m on track to have 90% my shopping done by December 20th, holla!

So Christmas shows, crafts, cooking and presents all present and accounted for.  And I know what you’re thinking now, how does she keep her sanity while dominating Christmas?  Simple, I still make time for myself.  I’ve got a 30 day membership to Eastside Yoga and though I know I’m not going to make it in every day, my goal is to go a couple times a week, on top of my regular workouts, but more on that later.  So for now, pick a couple Christmassy things you absolutely want to do, pencil them in like they’re an actual appointment and get cracking!  

And P.S. if you’re looking to buy me a gift, my birthstone is amethyst and message me for my size (if you think I’m putting my size on the world wide interweb you’re insane).

Merry Christmas!