Written by Heather Foley
I’m not going to lie, I’ve felt pretty darn blah lately. I know what you’re thinking, “Heather how can you feel blah? You’re so nice and cute and modest and you have such skinny wrists”. And to that I say “Go on,” but seriously folks, who knew you could get SAD in May? My body and psyche feels like it’s early March, at best. This weather BLOWS and I totally blame Mother Nature for my 7 day a week case of the Mondays. Does anyone else feel as meh as me? Or was my court-ordered therapist right and I really can only bottle up my feelings for so long before they start to manifest? Nah, that dude was a quack, it’s totally the weather that has me rolling my eyes at the world, but what can I do about it? Well, I’m going to act like it’s May for crying out loud! We all know the way New England works. It will be 80 degrees one day out of nowhere and stay that way until October, so we have to be ready for the warm weather, whenever it decides to strike.
First I’m thinking go see Cailin and Victoria at The Tan Man for a spray tan. Who doesn’t feel at least a little better with a healthy glow? Studies (that I made up) show that the average American woman feels 5 pounds lighter and 2 inches taller with a tan. And a spray tan is instant gratification (my favorite kind of gratification), you just strip down, make awkward half naked small talk for 15 minutes and you’re done, easy peasey!
You know what would go awesome with that spray tan? Some highlights! Call up the pros at Nurture and schedule an appointment so you’ll have some sun kissed locks by the time the sun actually comes out. You don’t have to go full out shades lighter, just a couple of highlights by your face and you’ll look like you spent a long weekend at the beach, not holed up in your house reading “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Okay, you’ve got the tan and the highlights, now what? Get your booty over to Habit and pick up some new warm weather gear! I talked to Pam and Leila yesterday and they assured me they have plenty of great stuff. What kind of great stuff? How about cobalt blue leggings ($24)? Or maybe some accessories in bright summer colors? Bags, scarves, jewelry are priced from $24, go treat yourself! And you better hustle, I get paid Friday and if I beat you through the door there won’t be much left.
Last but not least, how are your toes looking? Seriously, take a look, I’ll wait. Do you have a case of February feet? How many layers of nail polish do you think you have? At least three? Are you slightly worried it’s going to take a power sander to get sandal ready? Well suck it up and get it taken care of now, before I have to see your ashy heels out and about (vomit). And have fun picking a color, its summertime! I think I’m going with a coral, because that’s my fav go-to summer color, but feel free to go a little crazy. I think anything goes when it comes to toes, well polish-wise anyway; please leave the toe ring at home, ok?
You look fantastic! And it’s hard not to feel a little better when you look better, right? At least that’s what the moms on Toddlers and Tiaras say. They are so wise. And you can feel good about the money you spent because you shopped locally, which as we all know is really, really important. You probably shouldn’t waste all that look on your TV, so why don’t you head to Local 149 to check out their new spring menu, or maybe head to the waterfront for a couple of cocktails? The weekend is allegedly supposed to be pretty nice (fingers crossed) and if you followed my advice you’re totally ready for it, and if you didn’t, don’t you dare wear sandals! No one wants to see your gross feet!