2 min readBy Published On: October 28th, 2022Categories: Features0 Comments

Don’t have a costume yet for your Halloween celebration? Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered!

#7 Bus Commuter.  Wear your business casual and backpack.  Don’t forget your phone and airpods.  Add a travel mug and a general pissed-off look of frustration.  This works best as a group costume – like 50 to 75 people deep, all lined up in a queue. You can spend the night looking at your phone or staring in the distance for a bus that will never come.

Basic Becky.  Plaid shacket. Trendy hat placed atop a perfect blowout. High-waisted jeans. Pose for selfies in line at Lincoln.

Basic Bro. Flannel or gingham button down. Patagonia Vest. Jeans or khakis. Baseball cap worn backward.

Sinatra Crooner.  Tux, mic, amber liquor in a glass and an intoxicating smile.

Clueless Dog Owner.  Bring your dog everywhere.  Who cares if your dog is not a service dog? Bring him in Starbucks. Bring her to Walgreens and Stop and Shop.  Look at your phone and pretend like you don’t see your dog peeing on someone’s stoop.

Sunday/Funday Reveler.  Put on your best Patriots/Sunday Funday garb (see Basic Becky and Basic Bro) and get wrecked. Stagger around the streets of Southie, holding a slice from Magoo’s and an open container. Talk really loud and steal people’s pumpkins from their stoop.

Southie Parent. Bugaboo stroller that you will bring everywhere, i.e. Lincoln for brunch, Castle Island Brewing, Paramount to pick up a salad, into Sullivan’s for an ice cream.  Travel mug filled with wine.  A look of exhaustion and regret. Preschooler following behind on a scooter. Ask, “are there any nuts in that?”

Southie Karen. Mom jeans worn unironically. Glasses. Phone in hand and 311 app at the ready. Repeat the phrase, “I need to speak to the manger.”

Lifelong Southie Resident. Sully’s sweatshirt, Adidas Superstars, scratch tickets in hand and a scowl of disapproval. Complain about parking constantly.

Edgar Allan Poe.  Perfect for the Southie history buff.  Author Edgar Allen Poe once served in the army at Fort Independence at Castle Island in the 1827.  While there, he heard a “true story”  of soldiers burying an officer in the wall alive, which inspired him to write The Cask of Amontillado.  Wear your best black suit and cravat, carry around a copy of The Raven and get drunk.

Feel free to add to our list!