2.1 min readBy Published On: February 1st, 2013Categories: Features10 Comments on Actual Southie Rules

In light of “Southie Rules,” I started thinking, “What if the show actually focused on Southie?” Brainstorming plots for different wild scenarios that would take place on an actual Southie show were far more entertaining than holding back vomit during a meatball fight.




  • Ep. 1: Lady who walks around with shopping cart of cans in the street realizes there is a sidewalk. Residents who keep missing the green light at L & 5th, find it is useful to just break the windows of double parkers outside of L Street Diner.
  • Ep. 2: Everybody at the bus stop at N & 4th forgets their iPod, they’re forced to actually talk to each other while waiting for the #7. The restaurant space at L & 4th finally becomes another nail salon.
  • Ep. 3: Al’s Liquors organizes their walk-in coolers and customers actually find what they’re looking for. Sully’s opens up a drive thru for the winter months.
  • Ep. 4: Country Sundays at the Playwright get out of hand when a mechanical bull malfunctions. “Paul Helen’s Around Town” Facebook page gains 2000 likes in an hour.
  • Ep. 5: The wild, old dancing guy at Tom English’s gets a float in St. Patrick’s Day parade. Sal’s and Mirasola’s cut friendly ties and decide there’s only room for one Italian business at L&8th.
  • Ep. 6: Rainbow Dragon is closed for serving scorpion bowls to a Girl Scout troop. Fish Pier reopens.
  • Ep. 7: PS Coffee admits they put cocaine in the PS Special.  The city changes the light sequence by Perkins Square to make it even worse.
  • Ep. 8: After realizing that early Irish immigrants forgot it, J Street is officially added to the mix, leads to rise of people “Smokin Jays on J.” The Old Colony Liquor Store figures out what an ID is.
  • Ep 9: Mt. Washington Bank decides it’s probably not a good idea to give away gifts that look like sex toys. (“It’s just a hand mixer!”). Stats decides it wants to skew older, Friday Night Bingo draws a crowd from Marian Manor.
  • Ep. 10: People who move into the former Gatey hall property report they keep hearing a whistle and somebody screaming, “C’mon Injun!!” The Dunkin Donuts drive thru on Old Colony Ave stops throwing coffees out the window and starts making them properly.

Other ideas? Post ’em below.

Born and raised in Southie, Mike currently lives in Braintree. He will graduate this May from Boston University with a degree in journalism. In Southie, you can find him working at the churches or drinking in a bar.

image by Scully Photo


  1. 3rd Generation South Boston Lady February 1, 2013 at 1:52 am
    Actually, there was a ‘J’ street located just where you would think, between ‘I’ and ‘K.’ It was a shorter street starting at fifth and running through to the Emerson/East Broadway intersection. However, since the Tynan School was built, it was cut off and no longer usable.
  2. Brownie February 1, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    Ep. 11:  Southie local walking dog, dog defecates on sidewalk, dog owner ignores the poop and keeps walking.  So called Yuppie steps in dog poop.  Hilarity ensues. 

  3. Doug February 1, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    Special guest Bobby Flay visits Lee Chen’s Mexican Grill & Chinese Food for a “B5 with a side of crab rangoons” throwdown.

  4. Mariclaire February 1, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    There has to be something about a car window being broken because its owner moved a chair from a shoveled out place

  5. [email protected] February 2, 2013 at 2:04 am

    a large group of Southie’s hungry seagulls was seen marching back and forth in front of Mucka Finyardi’s house…(since Sully’s is now closed for the winter)…carrying signs, pleading for french fries!….DHK


  6. Ben February 3, 2013 at 3:50 pm


    A third dollar store moves in on West Broadway…because two is not enough.

  7. jim billotte February 3, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    i grew up in southie went to scool there got married there had kids there that grew up to know they had to work for a living not to do drigs be in crime and so on.southie always took of there own,if someone is going to make a show about ask the people that have and still live in southie,you will always get a hello just because your there not just because we know you

  8. MoniusMom February 4, 2013 at 1:02 am
    Michael, you have more wit and intelligence than A&E any day!
  9. Bakes February 5, 2013 at 9:29 pm

    how about going to Stop & Shop on a Monday and trying to find something that they have not run out of.

  10. Lwrendr February 6, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    J street actually burned down in the winter of 1951 there was a fire and the houses there burned. I was born on J St 10/1951 and we had to move becasue of the fire. The Tynan came much much later.

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