Need to win by Heather Foley

 

Holy moly, it really happened, the Boston Red Sox are in the World Series!  I would be lying if I said that back in April I knew this day was going to come.  Don’t get me wrong, I was excited about the upcoming season, but mostly because I get way excited about eating hot dogs (the bar for excitement has been set pretty low in my life).  Now I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who are much smarter than me that can give you actual scientific and statistical reasons the Red Sox will win, and I’m going to let them.  It’s late and I’m tired and I really don’t feel like looking anything up right now, so let me present my top ten reasons the Red Sox need to win the World Series.

1. The inevitable “F*CKING CHAMPIONS” shirts inspired by Big Papi’s now infamous speech.
2. Can you even imagine how hard Koji will high five after winning The World Series?  I’m giddy just thinking about it.
3. The little birdies in Mike Napoli’s beard are read to fly away, he needs this.
4. I was bartending and waitressing back in 2004 and 2007, so I didn’t get to experience The World Series as a boozy bar patron, do it for me.
5. Hopefully it will put an end to the fried chicken and beer jokes, ugh.
6. Maybe if they win The World Series Fenway will go back to selling out every game (yeah, I went there).
7. These guys started growing out their playoffs beards in June, and preparedness is everything.
8. My son announced the lineup on NESN this year and he would really like to say he did it the year The Sox were champs.
9. You can’t just make a whole city fall in love with you and then let them down at the last minute, THAT’S NOT HOW THIS WORKS, YOU GUYS.
10. Boston hasn’t seen a championship since 2011, we are beyond due.

All that being said, Sox in five.  Peace out.