(Even the non-existent ones.)

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and let’s be honest: It’s kind of an atom bomb of a holiday—plan it wrong and your relationship, no matter how new or old, can blow up. Lucky for you, we’ve mapped out the perfect date-night for every stage of coupledom, whether you’re in the early throes of a love affair, married with children, or somewhere in the middle. Take a look.

For the Broken-Hearted
Head to the City Tap House February 11^th and 12^th for an anti-Valentine’s Day celebration the Fort Point restaurant has dubbed the “Cupid is Stupid—Swipe Left” weekend. You can commiserate, chat, and laugh with other singles while swigging beer and eating dishes like their Waffle Fry Short Rib Gravy Poutine—you know, the kind of food you would never eat on a first date.

For the Happily Single
Live it up with like-minded souls at The Playwright’s Singles Celebration party this Saturday at 8PM. Who needs another box of chocolates when you have a DJ and Valentine’s Day-themed cocktails? (Answer: Not you.) If you’re looking to keep the party going (of course you are), check out Lincoln Tavern & Restaurant the morning after for mouthwatering brunch dishes from Chef Nick Dixon and specialty cocktails, like Matchmaker Punch, from Bar Manager Rob MacCaffrey.

For the Recent Bumble Match
Here, casual is key—and what’s more casual than Taco Tuesday? Shoot your new match a quick text to meet you at Loco for three-inch, heart-shaped versions of the restaurant’s signature tacos. Carnitas with a side of Valentine’s Day acknowledgement—who wouldn’t swipe right for that?

For the Newly Exclusive
When you really, really like someone, reservations must be made. Book a table-for-two at Coppersmith and enjoy Executive Chef Jason Heard’s special, Valentine’s Day-only, three-course prix frixe menu. At just $40.00/person, it shows you care without insinuating any big, three-word proclamations.

For the Shacked-Up Couple
This Tuesday night, avoid sleeping on the couch in three simple steps: 1. Grab a vase at Neatly Nested. 2. Order a mini bouquet from Market Studio to place in said vase. 3. Make a reservation at Area Four where you can toast to your love with specialty champagne cocktails and custom-made candies.

For the Lifelong Pair
Spice things up with dinner and a show. In addition to a special, Valentine’s Day prix fix menu, Capo will host the Beantown Swing Orchestra in their new lounge. Three courses and live jazz from a nine-piece band? Even the most seasoned couples can’t scoff at that.

For the Adventurers
Skip the flowers, work off the chocolates, and bring your sweetheart on an adventure date this year! Rock Spot Climbing has a special Valentine’s package.  They’ll provide the gear and instruction, and you can stay and climb as long as you’d like. Well, until midnight at least.  For more information visit here! 

For the History Buffs
Enjoy a little historic love with Unconditional Love: The Letters of John and Abigail Adams!  Head to the Boston Tea Party Ships and enjoy this hour long theatrical performance bringing to live the intimate correspondence of enduring letters between the second president John Adams and his wife Abigail.  Show days and times are Friday, February 10th, Saturday, February 11th and Tuesday, February 14th from 7p-8pm.  Tickets are $59 a couple and can be secured by calling the Boston Tea Party Ships & Museum at 1-617-338-1773 or can be purchased at the museum’s ticket booths located at 306 Congress St. on the Congress Street Bridge in Fort Point Channel. Post show Get cozy by the fire at Chalet (downstairs from Bastille Kitchen) and enjoy one of their creative cocktails.  This lounge is perfect for date night with its tartan plaid sofas, dark wood, and the warm glow of the fire.