I’m not really one to play the New Year’s Resolution game.  For starters, most resolutions are broken by February.  Eat better, go to the gym, save money, and abandon toxic behaviors; I would NEVER suggest anything like that.  What I will suggest, is resolutions for the common good.  Resolutions that will make Southie a more enjoyable place for all of us, because I am nothing if not altruistic. 

So here are some Southie-centric New Year’s Resolutions…

Pull Up

To quote queen, icon, and legend Grace Jones, pull up to the bumper baby.  As you may have noticed, parking is in short supply, we need every inch we can get, so pull up!  To the bumper, to the bus stop, to the corner, to whatever those white pole things at intersections are called, pull up to ‘em all!

Take A Doggie Bag

Back when I was a wain (shout out to Derry Girls), the streets of Southie were quite literally littered with, ahh, dog excrement.  We cannot go backwards, people!  Now I’m not saying it’s as bad as it was when I was a kid in the 1880s, but I’ve noticed we’ve been slipping a little.  One sidewalk turd is too many!  Oh, and cleaning up doesn’t end with just bagging the poo, you need to properly dispose of the bag.

Know Before You Go 

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the bars in Southie get crowded!  And I don’t know how the brave men and women making our drinks do it.  It’s wall-to-wall people, crazy loud, everyone is ordering different cocktails, and to top it off there are usually only a couple of bartenders working.  Heroes, I tell ya.  One way to make their job easier and quicker, and therefore making it easier and quicker for all of us to get a drink, know your order when you get up to the bar, and have your method of payment locked and loaded.  As someone who has spent time on both sides of the bar, it’s shocking how many people wait (not so patiently) to get a bartender’s attention only to say “Ahhhhh, hold on” when asked what they want.  

Keep Your Trash Tight

I can’t believe I even have to include this on the list, but let’s all resolve to not have disgusting trash, ok?  Garbage (especially food) should be in barrels with lids that close tightly, and trash that’s too big for barrels should not be leaning on cars parked at the curb (I once had to move a nasty wet couch to get into my car and to paraphrase Joe Exotic, I will never emotionally recover).  Gross garbage is the source of our bourgeoning rat problem, and I don’t know about you, but I really don’t have the bandwidth to deal with a re-emergence of the plague right now.

Sullivan’s Travels

I know Sully’s isn’t currently open, but did you really think I wouldn’t use this opportunity to share my magnum opus?

Keep It Local

I know the world is at our fingertips and we can go onto our phones, order almost anything, and have it in our hands in a matter of days.  It’s easy, it’s convenient, but it does absolutely nothing for social capital – in fact, it erodes it.  Make an effort to visit some of the great small businesses in Southie.  A neighborhood full of thriving small businesses is a win for all of us.

Happy New Year my friends, let me know your Southie-specific resolutions!