4 min readBy Published On: March 25th, 2012Categories: Features0 Comments on The new resolution

Written by Heather Foley

Did you have fun St. Patrick’s Day weekend?  Maybe did you eat too much, drink too much, or overall just treat your body like a piece of crap?  Not me, I treat my body like a temple.  Or maybe it just wasn’t last weekend, but this week you looked down at your beer gut and thought, “When the hell did that get there?”  Once again not me, I look fantastic.  Did the unseasonably warm weather shock you into the realization that you’re nowhere near beach ready?  Do I even have to say it?  Not me, I like to stay beach ready year round.  If everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, it only makes sense everyone has Irish guilt the week after St. Patrick’s Day.  And from all the eavesdropping I do, I’ve picked up that people feel BAD this year.  I hear more people make claims to “behave” the week after the parade than I do after New Years Eve, which is why I think post St. Patrick’s Day resolutions have become the new New Year’s resolution.

Everyone and their mother makes a New Year’s resolution, and about 98% break it (I can’t even pretend I researched that number because I didn’t but we all know I’m right).  Regular gym goers like myself can’t help but notice a big drop off after Martin Luther King Day (I call it long weekend syndrome), but it’s the perfect time to come back.  The majority of New Year’s resolutions are things like get in shape and lose weight (both excellent ideas fatty), I think the biggest St. Patrick’s resolution is curb the drinking (also a great idea Ben Sanderson), why not combine the two?

Since you’re cutting back on the booze you’re going to have some spare time on your hands, lets revisit your New Years Resolution and spend some of that time at the gym.  You probably hated the gym those 7 times you went in the beginning of January.  It was crowded, you didn’t know what you were doing, and neither did anyone else there.  Well guess what?  No one is there now!  Seriously, its empty compared to the first week in January, you’ll love it!  You don’t have to worry about some hag breathing down your neck because you’ve been on the treadmill for 30 minutes or wondering if someone is judging you because you’re not sure how to adjust some cables, trust me no one is looking at you.  The people there now aren’t there because of some BS resolution they made.  They’re there because they want to be fit so that’s what their focus is, not you (sorry, I know you were under the impression the world revolves around you, but it doesn’t, it revolves around me).

Now you can shun booze and workout like a maniac, but if you’re still eating crap guess what you’re going to look like?  Crap!  If you’re putting the time in at the gym and curbing your functional alcoholic ways, you may as well go all the way and eat well too.  I mean, why bother if you’re not going to give it 100%?  It’s really not that bad.  Start off by making sure you eat a good breakfast and bringing a healthy lunch and snacks to work.  Plus think of all the money you’ll save by not drinking and eating only meals you make, probably enough to buy me a really great present.

Right about now you might be thinking, “Heather you are a hypocrite. I’ve seen you drink beers and eat buffalo chicken nachos.”  And you’re right, you have.  I can put away a plate of nachos like nobody’s business, but I don’t do it all the time dummy.  Treating yourself every once and a while is fine.  No one ended up in the Biggest Loser house because they had the occasional piece of bacon.  It’s your daily habits that make or break you, and if you’re eating food that’s not good for you day in and day out, we’re all going to see it.

Have I inspired you to grab your health by the horns?  Are you going to toss your fatty lunch and maybe have a nice piece of fish for dinner?  Well, good for you! You’re going to have ab lines in no time at all!  And if this blog hasn’t been enough inspiration to get your ass in gear, how about this? As I’m writing this, it’s 67 days until Memorial Day, and that flab isn’t going to disappear on its own.  Get crackin’!