2.3 min readBy Published On: March 3rd, 2014Categories: Features3 Comments on I hate the St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Written by Heather Foley

Hi kittens!  As most of you probably know, I hate the St. Patrick’s Parade.  I think it’s hands down the single worst day in Southie, and for the record I hated it before it was cool.  One day a year our neighborhood is overrun with idiots of all kinds.  I could list many, many cons of a day that reinforces every negative stereotype about South Boston (and most of the people doing the reinforcing don’t even live in 02127) but because I’m trying to more positive I’m going to focus on the day’s pros, if I can think of any….Hi! Ok, I’m back, and I even thought of a few pros, and here they are:

The non-parade activities are pretty cool.  Boxing shows, historical exercises, bowling, various fundraisers, these are the activities I prefer to focus on.  I suggest checking out some of what the South Boston Citizens Association has to offer, and if you see me at Dorchester Heights on the 17th – celebrating Evacuation Day –  come say hello!
Green clothes.  Since emerald was Pantone’s color of the year in 2013, I have a decent amount of green in my wardrobe, and now I get to wear green for two weeks.  I’m very much looking forward to busting out my green faux leather skater skirt.

Irish step dancing and Irish music.  Not to sound like a giant nerd, but I love Irish music and Irish step dancing.  There really is nothing more fun than hanging out in a bar and BAM, adorable little Irish step dancers come flying in out of nowhere, kicking and jumping and for their lives. Oh and if you’re lucky enough to have some surprise entertainment, hook the girls up with a couple bucks.

Green Hostess Sno Balls.  Do they still make Sno Balls?  Good God I hope they do, I don’t think I could handle losing my Sno Balls.  I know it’s just food coloring but the green ones are the best.  And don’t try to tell me that green bagels can take their place.  Green bagels are whack.

Street cleaning.  Take a look around guys, our streets are NASTY.  We’ve gone months without a good street cleaning and it shows.  If nothing else we can look forward to clean streets, well until some 24 year old punk pukes in them.

So are you looking forward to the parade yet?  Yeah, me either.  I know it’s a rough day for us Southie, but we can get through it, and besides, all the parade talk gives us a nice break from being on the news for fighting over space savers.  #GlassHalfFull


  1. El pres March 15, 2014 at 3:31 pm
    This article sucks. Go put a smile on your face or for that matter try to get laid for once. You’re half empty is more like it.
  2. pat lavey March 15, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    lock up the driveways, shut your doors its that time of year. get ready for the drunken losers throwin up and pissing all over the place. i havent heard anything about the public drinking crackdown this year, ( i think there are more pressing issues )i think we are due for a nice deck overloaded with drunken fools calling each other “BRO” to collapse this year, cant wait. Lets bring back an originally from southie “SOUTHIE DAY” down marine park, you remember! Stop by tomorrow i’m hosting a Jaws marathon party. 

  3. LULU March 15, 2014 at 11:22 pm
    What I do like about the parade ifs that everyone is smiling, I’m a life long southie resident, born and raised in the house I’m in now,I am disappointed on how bad the parade is and we need New, young blood to form a New and better parade more accepting of the different types of people who want to March thank you.

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