1.7 min readBy Published On: July 2nd, 2012Categories: Features0 Comments on Happy Fourth of July


The nonexistent Fourth of July Weekend

Written by Peter Gailunas

I liked it better last year.  Fourth of July fell on a Monday so you could celebrate all weekend long.  This year with the holiday falling on a Wednesday, I’m not quite sure when my celebrating should begin and end.  I tried to get the patriotic band wagon moving this past Thursday night at local get-together by shouting out, “Woo hoo!  Happy Birthday America!”  My wife turned and looked at me and said, “It’s not the Fourth of July yet.”  Which got me thinking, when can I start celebrating.  
For me the weekend alone is enough reason to buy a case of beer and really rip it up but I feel as though special details should be in place to celebrate America’s birthday.  I mean flag cakes need to be baked, sparklers should be purchased and patriotic anthems should be played on Pandora.  So when does this happe? Friday and Saturday are still technically June.  On a normal year if you began celebrating Fourth of July in June, you’d look completely ridiculous or overly patriotic to a flaw.  “Man, that guy loves America so much he kicks off the party in June!”  Sunday is July 1st, so maybe then I can start celebrating.  Sunday Funday right?  Monday is not so much a Funday when you are hungover at work.  So you can’t really celebrate the way America’s independence should be celebrated on a Sunday with work looming over the festivities like a dark cloud.  Monday, July 2nd?  Who celebrates on a Monday?  An alcoholic maybe.  So I’ve decided that Tuesday night is when I’ll party for America. 
Next year Fourth of July will be on a Thursday which to me means that no one is going to work on Friday and it will be a five day weekend – clear and simple.  
God Bless America!