written by Peter Gailunas
Tuesday, November 6th is Election Day. I wasn’t sure if you were aware of this or not. Maybe you don’t own a television or get mail or have a land line but Tuesday is election day and until then the battle is not over. What battle? The Battle of the political ad campaigns. They started off slow after the primaries and now as election day is quickly approaching, hang onto your hats because the gloves are off.
First, let’s start locally. We have Senator Scott Brown vs. Elizabeth Warren.
Positive Ad for Scott Brown – He’s just a regular guys Republican. He’s handsome, rugged, and seemingly down to earth. He ends each of his own ads with a still shot of himself, Gail Huff, the pick-up and his hot daughters. It’s message is vote for the person not the party.
Positive Ad for Elizabeth Warren – She is a working class hero and she’s fighting for the middle-class. Her ads don’t feature many shots of herself but instead a bunch of stereotypical middle class people saying that Elizabeth Warren is for the “little guy”.
Negative against Elizabeth Warren – This ad has a horrifically grotesque picture of Elizabeth Warren that makes her look like the meanest fourth grade teacher you’ve ever had – a real spinster that likes to bust balls just because. The ad portrays Elizabeth Warren as a liar and not to be trusted – you know ever since the whole Native American thing. According to the ad, profited off of the slow and painful deaths of people who died from asbestos cancer.
Negative against Scott Brown – Scott Brown hates women. He doesn’t want them to have equal pay or abortions or birth control. Don’t be fooled by his good looks ladies, Scott Brown is a misogynistic pig that doesn’t like women. You know they were dying to put in the picture of him as the Cosmo centerfold but thought better of it in fear it would give him more votes. According to the ad, if you vote for Scott Brown, that’s one more Republican too many.
Then the Obama and Romney ads.
Positive for Obama ad says he wants four more years. He fought terror and won. He’s bringing the economy back around. He is for the middle class. The country has made progress on his watch and they can’t turn back now. He has a likable and stylish first lady often compared to Jackie Kennedy.
Positive for Romney says he can turn this country around in 5 easy steps. He’s going to create 12 million jobs. He fixed the Winter Olympics. He has five very good looking sons and and a magnificent head of hair.
Negative against Romney – Mitt Romney hates women too. He is a crazy Republican Mormon that is dying to get rid of medicare and abortions. Romney is going to squeeze the middle class until there is nothing left. He is anti-union. He’s against the police, firefighters and teachers. And he wants to kill Big Bird.
Negative against Obama- Romney plays upon the bad economy and ask the question, “Are you better off than you were four years ago?” Phrases like Obamacare, outsourcing jobs to China, and record unemployment and debt are the cherries on top of this fear sundae.
Odds and Ends
The Karl Rove backed super PAC American Crossroads put together this next spot : In this spot, there is a woman in her late 30’s early 40’s sitting in a kitchen talking to the camera. Based on the size of the kitchen she appears to be upper middle class and with the kid’s ball caps hanging in the background you can infer she is a stay at home mom. She is clearly an actress and that’s what bother’s me most about this – her terrible acting and insincerity not to mention she is sitting in a house that is way nicer than mine. She is going on and on about she and her family can’t take 4 more years of Obama yet she is watching news footage of Obama on an iPad. Apparently, the last four years haven’t been too tight – you bought yourself an iPad.
Obama used a sexually suggestive ad with double entendre with Lena Dunham, director, writer and creator of HBO’s hit series “Girls” front and center. I guess in hopes to sway hipster sexually active young women who are voting for the first time. You know, voting virgins. So clever and hip, right?
Out of the three questions we get to vote on Question Two – Prescribing medication to end life – and it seems to be the hot button topic. If you vote yes on this question, it would allow terminally ill patients (six months or less) to take a lethal dose of drugs prescribed by a physician. In the political ad against Question Two, they make it seem as though people will be lining up to get this prescription and they use this actor who is dressed up like a very judgmental pharmacist. Also in this ad they mention the fact the physician might be wrong about his terminal diagnosis. Like a week after a cancer patient takes his lethal dose and dies, the doctor is going over old files and is like, “Oh, shit. This guy just had a Junior Mint lodged in his abdomen….oh, well!”
Based on the ads for the New Hampshire congressional seat I’d have to surmise that Frank Guinta is a real sneaky bastard that’s in bed with political fat cat millionaires.
In the Massachusetts’ 6th Congressional District race, Congressman John Tierney would like you to turn a blind eye to the fact this brothers in law and his wife did time for some sort of illegal gambling operation. “Pay no mind to this. This has nothing to do with me!” Really John Tierney? Maybe it’s time to hang it up.
Bottom line is, do these ads change voter’s minds? Tuesday, November 6th is Election Day – make sure to be informed on the issues and the candidates and to vote. The good thing about Wednesday, November 7th? No more political ads. Happy Election Day!
