2.3 min readBy Published On: October 10th, 2016Categories: Features0 Comments on Creepy Clown Saga

What the hell is going on with the creepy clowns?  Maybe it’s Halloween.  Maybe it’s really bored people looking to cause a little trouble in their neighborhood.  Or maybe there really are a pack of evil clowns spread throughout the country, lurking about, coming to get us!

The concept of evil clowns is nothing new.  We have the child-murdering clown Pennywise from Stephen King’s It.  (Did you know they are remaking the 80’s classic horror movie? Coincidence?)  The was the serial killer John Wayne Gacy.   Back when I was a kid, you had to watch out for the Clowns in the White Van that were terrorizing the children of South Boston back in the late 70’s.

So now over the past few months, clowns have been popping up in the news and social media causing my own children to ask, “Are they real?”  BPS sent out a recorded message about the clowns last week.  In South Carolina, clowns are hiding in the woods.  There have been copy cat clowns all over the place – in more than 30 states and even abroad!  Check out this online map displaying the sightings. 

Ronald McDonald – the spokesperson clown for McDonald’s is reportedly “laying low.”  Granted Ronald McDonald is a little creepy but I  don’t think the poor bastard has to go into hiding.  The fast food chain chain released a statement – yes, a statement – with the sentiment that due to the current climate (yes, clown climate) Ronald McDonald won’t be making appearances at community events.  That clown lives for that shit.

On Tuesday, the Dartmouth Police Department just released a PSA about jabronis thinking about dressing up as clowns and causing neighborhood hysteria.  Not on their watch!  Those menaces to society will be locked up!  Dartmouth Police ain’t got time for that…. or maybe they do.  But don’t get any bozo ideas about putting a clown mask on and hiding in the bushes in Dartmouth.

So with the creepy clown climate at an all time high, what does this all mean?  Is there an insane clown posse waiting to round enough psychopaths to reek havoc on the masses?  We hope not! Maybe it’s a grand PR stunt to promote the new It movie.  Maybe it’s just people with nothing better to do than slipping on a creepy clown mask and scary the shit out of people.  So far there have been no sightings in Southie but if I do see a clown walking down the street, I will quickly cross to the other side – I’m not taking any chances.  And I certainly won’t take any rides from clowns in white vans.

Be safe, Southie! 

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