Back to Work

Well, it happened.  I was in my car, minding my own business when I got “the call”.  A number that has only contacted me a couple of times (and gave me a mini heart attack each time).  A tsunami of feelings washed over me (I have a lot of feelings).  I swallowed a big gulp of air along with my consternation and answered the phone, my emotions churned while the voice on the other end gave me the news I had been both dreading and looking forward to, I’m going back to work.

Yup, after fourteen weeks mama is going back to work!  And when I say “back” I mean physically back in the office because as a stylist for a men’s big and tall company a hefty portion of my work is tucking men’s shirts into their pants and they simply will not pay me to do that at home.  Now that I know for sure I’m going back there’s a swirling tie dye of emotions inside my stomach (I don’t know about you but that’s where my emotions live).  Relief, excitement, worry, stress to do something summery in the next couple days because I’ll have no vacation time when I get back, the whole shebang.  It’s kinda like the first day of school if you were worried the principal would change her mind about your enrollment and then you couldn’t afford to pay your bills or eat. 

As relieved as I am about going back to work, I am a little worried about a few things…

1. Pants  Honestly I’m not even sure how to pronounce that word anymore.  Is the “a” soft?  Anyhoo, what are they and how do they work?  I have a vague memory of a button and a zipper, but that memory fades a little more every day.
2. Mascara My mascara wand now look like medieval torture device one might use on Mark Smeaton to get him to admit to having an affair with Anne Boleyn (you weren’t expecting a King Henry the VIII reference were you).  And my lash curler?  Don’t get me started, don’t even get me started.
3. Talking to People  Contrary to popular belief, I’m actually quite shy and introverted, and after the last four months I’m afraid I may have forgotten how to talk to the peoples.  Do people still like fun factoids?  About serial killers?  Aileen Wuornos was a Leap Day baby!
4. Packing a Lunch  Self explanatory.
5. Waking Up  Yes, I technically have been waking up every morning since March twenty fourth, technically.  My eyes open at a respectable hour, but I’m far from “up”.  I stretch, I peruse my phone, I leisurely, eventually, get out of bed, have coffee, read the news, and start my morning skincare regimen.  In just a few days I’ll be waking up hours earlier and need to be up up.  I’m scared.

I realize I might sound a little ungrateful, so please know I am exaggerating for effect, mostly.  I am incredibly grateful to have a job to go back to, and a job I love on top of it.  I realize not everyone is so lucky, and a lot of us have been tasked with finding a job during a pandemic, which sucks.  I’m very lucky my beloved company brought me back when COVID would have been the prefect excuse to dump my ass.  But if anyone has any tips on falling asleep and waking up earlier please pass them along.