Yoga things that still irritate me at on Day 25
by Alexandra Ryan
I have never really been the yoga type. I don’t like the word yogi. I have trouble doing the breathing exercise in Bikram without feeling like a phony, and I frequently become irritated and distracted by people who breath so loudly that they sound like a scary, wild animal.
Before Bikram, I exercised by running, doing circuit training and group workouts. I never felt yoga was an actual workout where you burn calories and lose weight. I know…I’m a jerk. “It is a real workout…and it’s not about the calories… it is about the mind body connection….being aware of your oneness…zen…breathing.” Blah blah blah…that’s all great but, after 25 Bikram classes…I want to know when the heck my body is going to be long, lean, and model like (I say this after just smashing a leftover work party cupcake).
My favorite posture in Bikram class just so happens to be the final posture: 2 minute Savasana. Translation: ‘The part when you get to lay down and relax for 2 minutes.’ This is also the time when the teacher makes his/her exit from the room. At the end of EVERY 90 minute class, all of the teachers say something along the lines of this, ‘Great job everyone, you all worked hard and should be proud of yourselves. Please take a minute here in Savasana to enjoy the benefits of your hard work. If anyone has any questions, I’ll be at the front desk, please feel free to stop by….my name is John….hope to see you all again very soon.’ As soon as the last word is uttered by the teacher…different people in the class yell:
THANK YOU! THANKS JOHN! THANKS! THANKS SO MUCH!! THANKS JOHN! THANKS!!!! GREAT CLASS JOHN!!! THANKS!!!
It’s like a race to see who can be the first one to say thank you and who can say it the loudest. It never fails. Every class…morning, noon, or night…no matter which teacher…the THANK YOU WAR is on. I am supposed to be still and zen-like for two minutes, but instead, I become agitated, I can’t relax, and I have the sudden urge to scream at everyone.
This morning, at my 25th Bikram class, I actually found myself subconsciously competing with everyone. As the teacher said his last word, I shouted… THENKU! When I came to and realized it was my voice…I wanted to slap myself.
5 days left. 5 days left. Deep breath.