I love TV.  I know in grammar school we were all told by Sister So and So that it’s not grammatically correct to say you love an inanimate object, but I don’t care.

 I love TV.  I love dramas, sitcoms, made for TV movies, new shows, reality TV, game shows, even infomercials.  It’s all good.  I’ve loved TV as long as I can remember.  When I was in kindergarten, my mom let me stay home from school the day everyone on Sesame St. finally got to meet Snuffaluffagus. I also used to turn the TV in my room down to the lowest volume so I could watch TV late at night without my parents knowing (almost 30 years later I’m still up way past my bedtime watching TV).  So you can imagine my excitement when Caught in Southie asked me if I would be interested in writing a blog about my one true love – sort of like if someone asked ALF to write about cats or any of the Golden Girls to write about cheesecake.  Something just comes over me when I talk about TV.  My pulse races, I get more animated, I talk a little faster.  Sometimes I think I even blush.  It’s the real deal.

Dexter killing gloves

So how TV obsessed am I?  I refer to my black leather gloves my “Dexter killing gloves.”  I talk about the characters on True Blood like are my friends.  I vote for my favorite dancer every week on Dancing with the Stars. I yell at the TV during What Not to Wear and when I hear a song I really like I either think ‘” hope they do this song on Glee'” or ‘” I hope Derek dances to this song on DWTS.”  Ok, fine, I admit it.  Sometimes I think that I would like to sing the song on Glee or dance to it with Derek on DWTS.  My DVR is always hovering around 95% full.  It kills me to delete shows after I watch them and some I can’t bring myself to delete at all, like the Britney/Brittany episode of Glee, or the Take It episode of Dexter and every episode of 30 Rock.  TV makes me happy.  It gives me the warm fuzzies.

My Strange Addiction

I have to be honest, this is a tough time of year for me television wise.  Dexter and Boardwalk Empire’s seasons are over.  True Blood doesn’t start up again until June.  Glee, 30 Rock and the Office are all running repeats.  And since Bret Michaels is marrying his baby mama I assume we’ve seen the last of Rock of Love.  Luckily the good people at MTV and TLC are helping through this difficult time with a new season of Jersey Shore and an amazing new show called My Strange Addiction. 

“You can’t walk in here with a banana and think everything is going to be all peaches.” 

I should state up front that I’m on Team J-Wow and I freaking hate Sammi.  I don’t know why Sammi bothered even showing up?  All she does is play with her weave and throw bitch face.  Why is she so miserable?  Does anyone really think that J-Wow wouldn’t destroy Sammi in a fight with one boob tied behind her back?  She’s a freaking black belt!  And I would like to take the opportunity to thank Pauly for the amazing quote, “You can’t walk in here with a banana and think everything is going to be all peaches.” I think this quote will go into regular rotation with other Jersey Shore gems such as GTL, DTF, t-shirt time, gorilla juice heads, grenades and land mines.

Now they bring the crazy

If you haven’t seen My Strange Addiction on TLC yet, do yourself a favor and watch it ASAP.  Remember when TLC’s most famous show was Trading Spaces?   Now they bring the crazy with shows like Hoarding: Buried Alive, I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Sister Wives.  My Strange Addiction really raises the crazy stakes.  In the first episode we meet Lori who is addicted to sleeping with her blow dryer – why, hello nutso!  They also profile a ventriloquist who brings her puppets with her everywhere she goes.  (This wacko was engaged and her fiance told her “it’s me or the puppets” and guess what she picked?)  This show also features a chick who wears a bunny costume everywhere and a couple broads who eat soap, household cleaner, couch cushions and toilet paper.  Clearly these people are all nuts, but I think the award for the grossest and strangest addiction goes to Haley who pulls her hair out and eats the follicle, VOMIT.  My Strange Addiction always manages to make me feel better about myself.  No matter how off the rails my life may seem to be, I’m not eating my hair follicles so I guess I’m doing okay.  The same principle applies to Hoarders and Judge Mathis.

So that’s a little insight into my TV watching.  Hopefully none of you are judging me too harshly for admitting I’m sad Rock of Love is over. 

That’s all for now.

Written By Heather Foley