May 21st has come and gone by Heather Foley
If you’re anything like me, you spent most of Saturday eating guacamole on the couch patiently waiting for the end of days that never even bothered to show up. Um, what the hell? I spent the whole week justifying everything I did or didn’t do by saying, “Who cares? The world is ending this weekend anyway.” So now it’s Monday morning, I look like Grandpa Munster because I didn’t bother to get my eyebrows waxed. I have to eat tuna out a can all day because I didn’t go grocery shopping, and my bank account is over-drawn because I thought “What the hell!” AND I also had a massive hangover all weekend because I figured if the world was ending I may as well crush my shockingly large nip collection. Well I was wrong and boy do I feel stupid now. Oh and did I mention I also have a rather embarrassing apology I need to go make at the Boston Public Library? (see last week’s blog about the world ending at https://caughtinsouthie.com/blog/its-end-world-we-know-it check out #24 – that was on my “bucket” list.)
I suppose I could look at the glass as half full. We’ve all been given a second chance. A new lease on life just like my man George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life. We should grab this opportunity by the face and cross some stuff off our bucket lists! If you know me at all, you know the #1 thing on my bucket list is to “tase” someone. But you may not know that I secretly want to be a Zen yoga chick, or that I wish I could do the kick worm, or that I have a serious case of roaster-phobia. So maybe instead of being pissed I have to resume shaving my legs, I should be grateful that I still have time to eat at the Nordic Lodge and become a sharp shooter. Besides, the Mayans predicted the world would end next year anyway.