I wanna do bad things to you…..
Ah summer, I love everything about you, roof decks and patios, trips to the beach and the yacht club, espadrilles and flip flops, maxi dresses and short shorts, but what I love most is summer brings a new season of True Blood!!! This Sunday, June 26th Season 4 of True Blood premiers and I’m so excited I could pee my pants (seriously, I’m not exaggerating, I might pee.) If you’re not watching True Blood, do yourself a favor and start. The whole show is sex and violence and what’s not to love? And if you do watch True Blood, you’re probably ready to wet your pants too.
Dead to the world
I’m going to declare potential SPOILER ALERT right here and now, so continue at your own peril. I don’t want you coming up to me at Rite Aid or the L St. Tavern or church and yelling at me for ruining anything for you okay? If you’ve read the Sookie Stackhouse books True Blood is based on, you probably have already put together that season 4 looks like it’s based on book 4 “Dead to the World”, aka “My Favorite Book in the Whole Series,” aka “The Book Where Sookie and Eric Hook Up!” Every season TB gives us something new, maenads, weres and shifters, and now witches! And not water melting, house dropping witches. I’m talking bad ass vampire cursing witches! And I have a bit of a soft spot for anything with witches since I played the legs of the wicked witch under Dorothy’s house in the Fontbonne Academy Good Fountain Player’s ethnicity neutral production of “The Wiz.” But I’m getting ahead of myself, let me start from the beginning, sort of.
If you read my summer wish list you know that I’m Team Eric (Bill sucks, pun totally intended) and if the universe plays nice, he’ll be all mine. If you were on the Bill/Eric fence, I’m willing to bet you’ll be Team Eric before the season is halfway over. Not only is Eric super hot, he can be a total jerk, and ladies, don’t we all love a jerk? So in the book, Sookie find a shirtless (woo hoo) Eric wandering by the side of the road, he’s got amnesia and he doesn’t remember Sookie, being a sheriff, or anything. We learn he’s been cursed by a witch and because Sookie loves to get all up in people’s business, she lets Eric stay with her and that’s when the fun starts. Can you imagine having a tall, hot chin dimpled Viking vampire holed up with you? I can, and do, probably about 3 nights a week.
Twists and turns
As if a Sookie/Eric hook up isn’t enough to carry a whole season, there’s plenty more going on. Jason gets kidnapped by one of those inbred shifters in Hotshot. It’s Crystal’s brother-cousin-fiance Felton and he bites Jason nightly trying to turn him into a Panther-man. That hot piece of werewolf meat Alcide is back! And how great is it that when shifters turn back to human form they’re always naked?
Bill is hardly in the book at all (yay), but deep down I know I’m not lucky enough to have him absent from the whole season. Sorry, Bill! I’m sure you’re a good guy and all, but you’re super boring. Oh and something is definitely going on with Sookie and her fairy blood. Watch the first 8 minutes of episode 1 on demand now! It’s all about fairies. Are you pumped yet?
I want to let it be known, I have no inside info as to what is actually going to happen this season (I know you’re all shocked.) I’m just letting you know what happens in the book. So far for the past 3 seasons, the plot of the show has loosely followed the plot of the books, but with a ton of extra twists and turns. How can we forget Sam maybe shooting is brother? Arlene and Terry having a demon baby and Hoyt and Jessica moving into that house with the creepy baby doll (ok to me all baby dolls are creepy, I’m legit terrified of dolls with moveable eyelids.) None of these subplots were in any of the books, which is really great because even if you’re a total nerd (like moi) and have read all the books, you still have no idea what’s going to happen.
Questionable moral compasses
I realize if you’ve never seen an episode of TB this all seems completely insane and it kind of is, but it’s the amazing kind of insane. The kind of insane that grabs you by the face and sucks you into a supernatural world of beautiful people with questionable moral compasses (and is there really any better type of people to base a show on.) So if you’ve never watched True Blood, give it a whirl, and please, no one freaking bother me from 9 to 10pm on Sunday.
Season 4 of True Blood premires on Sunday, June 26th at 9pm on HBO