Have you heard the latest rumor?
Apparently Lady GaGa is house hunting right here in Massachusetts! Now I’m not sure exactly where she’s looking, my sources only have access to so much information, but let me suggest beautiful seaside South Boston! Whether you’re Lady GaGa or not, South Boston is a great place to live. The people are the best in the world (well most of them at least,) the scenery is amazing (let’s face it, we all take castle island for granted), the convenience of being so close to so much, we are all incredibly lucky to call South Boston home and maybe Lady Gaga will be lucky enough too!
Since it’s summer, let’s start off with M St. Beach. Perfect for crazy leather bikinis and oversized novelty sunglasses, right? I would love to hang out with her at Southie beach. Can’t you just imagine her making platform shoes out of crab shells and a corset out of seaweed? And I wonder what she packs in her rolley cooler. Probably something totally bizarre like pickled pigs feet and sparkling rose. And what about Castle Island? I can just picture her strolling around the island in her crazy 10 inch high heels eating some Sully’s clam strips, and maybe even rocking a Sullivan’s hoody with just ripped fishnets and a thong, fun!
I bet LG would love the ICA on the waterfront too. I mean she practically is a piece of modern art. And I bet she would even be willing to stage some performance art. Who wouldn’t pay good money to see her doing some totally bananas live art installation piece? Well wait, she’s totally bonkers every day so her performance art would probably be something like reading the Sunday paper in jeans and a t-shirt. Speaking of the waterfront, I think our new homegirl would enjoy a lot more than just the ICA. She strikes me as someone who would enjoy a tequila snowcone or 4 at Papagayo, and I’m pretty sure she would have no problem jumping up and singing a song or two with the mariachi band.
Does everyone remember the meat dress? I’m sure Paul at K & 8th and Andy and Matt at American Provisions would all be more than willing to help her pick out some delicious cuts if she is ever in the market for a rib eye trench coat or maybe a ground beef parasol. Although she probably wouldn’t want to go the meat route again, so maybe she could make a cheese maxi dress? What about the time she was kicked out of a Mets game for being a hot drunken mess? I’m pretty sure she could watch M St. softball and be as big of a drunken mess as she wants without anyone telling her she had to leave. She probably won’t even be the biggest drunken mess there! Who else thinks she would totally put a guy on a leash and take him to the dog park? Or steal Moscow Mule copper mug from Local 149 and make earrings out of them? Personally I would love to see what she comes running out of her house wearing when she remembers its street cleaning and has to move her car to the other side of the street. Maybe something like a Mrs. Roper housecoat with opera gloves and a monocle?
Recommendation for some Southie real estate
I’m getting so excited!! I really hope Lady GaGa’s people read this and pass along a recommendation for some Southie real estate. Maybe we’ll see her at the next community meeting where she’ll propose a sanctuary for wounded circus animals.