Merry Southie Christmas – my third least favorite time of year, right after parade day and Country Fest. Every September our quiet little seaside community get an influx of new residents, and every September I do my best to extend a hearty welcome and share a few tips for a seamless Southie transition…and every September a few weasels pop into the comment section and spread their toxic negativity, but that’s neither here nor there.
How did the move go? Depending on what day you moved it was either a brisk early fall day or one million degrees, so either good for you or that sucked. I’d like to welcome you the greatest place in the world to live, South Boston (yes, I do think South Boston is the greatest place in the world to live, and I think everyone should feel that way about wherever they live). I’m Southie born and raised, and I like to fancy myself a bit of an expert, so let me help you acclimate to your new hood and make the most of living in God’s country.
Take a Walk
I know you just moved and you probably want to just plop on the couch and watch whatever hip young people watch (what do you watch by way, I’m almost done with my She Wrote re-watch and need something to binge) but trust me. Head out and walk a few blocks in every direction, take in everything your new neighborhood has to offer. You’ll learn where to grab a coffee, a sub, a slush, where to take your dry cleaning, what bus lines you’re near, and who knows what else. Oh, and while you’re out you’ll come across other humans, smile at them and say hi.
Days of the Week
Now that you live in South Boston your life will be ruled by two days every week, street cleaning and garbage day. Learn what days your street has street cleaning and garbage day and commit them to memory. There is nothing worse than walking to your car and finding out it was towed, I know because it has happened to me many, many times. Now for garbage day, whatever day of the week it is, you can put your garbage on the curb the night before, in actual barrels with lids that snap, these are non-negotiables. After the trash is picked up, bring your barrels back into your yard or alley. Don’t leave them on the sidewalk for days. And please promise me you’ll do better with your trash going forward because I saw how some of ya’ll moved in and you’re gross.
I have no real tips here. Parking is a nightmare; may God grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change. And speaking of God, for her sake pull up to the bumper when you park.
There are good neighbors and there are bad neighbors, please don’t be a bad neighbor. Yeah, you’re excited to live in Southie and you want to invite everyone at Lincoln back to your place after last call for an afterparty on a Tuesday, but that’s not a good neighbor move. Some other bad neighbor behavior I’ve witnessed from new (and not so new) residents, peeing on the sidewalk, blocking a driveway, the aforementioned trash, having drunk screaming fights at 3am, public vomiting, and some other things I won’t mention because I’m too much of a lady. Be a good neighbor, don’t be an asshole.
Odds and Ends
Get a library card. I know I sound like your nana, but do it. In addition to paper books, you’ll get access to audio and e-books, museum passes, ferry tickets, DCR parking passes, kayak rentals, AND MORE!
Our Stop and Shop is terrible, you’re going to want to get your produce almost anywhere else.
SLOW DOWN. The speed limit is 25mph, that doesn’t mean you can go 40 on East Broadway. And if you are speeding I reserve the right to throw eggs at your car.
East Third Street near the Post Office is an anxiety attack inducing nightmare.
You don’t have to wait in line at bars, you can walk a couple blocks in any direction and find a bar without a line.
Go to Sully’s on a rainy weekday, you’ll be in and out in minutes.
Go to K&8th for meat while you still can.
I’m sure I forgot a few things, I’m only human, and old but everything you’ll ever need to know about Southie can be found by reading Caught In Southie (which you’re already doing, so good job) and listening to our podcast, Caught Up, A Podcast From South Boston. I hope you love Southie and stick a around for a long while, unless you’re a sucky neighbor, then I hope you’re gone before March.